It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!! Or so the song goes. And honestly…I’m trying. I’m trying to relish all of the moments with my family. And all of the parties. And all of the school commitments. And all of the shopping. And all of the baking (of course, I do a lot more since I own a bakery). And all of the church. And all of the volunteering. And all of the decorations. And all of the Christmas cards being sent. And all of the traffic. And all of the…Well, you get the point. Oh, and the kids aren’t even on break yet! And God knows, I mean well. And God knows, I can handle it. And God knows…I’M TIRED!
I was actually talking to a friend today (well, we were venting) to each other about all the things going on in our lives right now in this season. And how she is helping another friend by providing a meal, but goodness knows we could all use someone else bringing us a meal tonight. We are stressed out, over-committed mommas (and I don’t just mean she and I).
I know that this season is not supposed to be about over booking our calendars and what gifts we are getting everyone. However, I feel like every year, as much as I try not to make that happen…it does. And I’m Exhausted. But on top of that, I feel like I can’t even tell anyone I’m tired. That us moms are expected to smile through this season and look at our children with loving eyes and enjoy every freaking moment. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy the moments. I do. But I have to admit. I’ve hit my limit. So what do I do about it?
Honestly, I don’t have an answer. Maybe it’s not about me and how tired I am. Maybe IT IS about the memories I’m making for my kids (although some days, I’d rather them not remember). Those are the days the extra tired, over-worked, not proud of my reaction, “momma yell” kicks in. But other days we are making some good memories. Or so I thought. My son just put together a poster for school, of what traditions we, as a family, do every year to celebrate the holidays. And you know what? I’M NOT EVEN ON THAT POSTER! Yeh, yeh, it’s not all about me, but ouch, that kinda hurt a little. Because I am trying. I’m trying hard. I’m trying too hard probably. I think all my kids really want is for me to be present. To be with them and spend quality time with them. I don’t even think they really care what we do. Yet, here we are. BUSY.
So here I am 14 days until Christmas and I feel like I’m not gonna make it until then. I know I will, but my body and my brain might be crawling over the finish line. So here I am telling all you other mommas out there that it’s OK to be tired. It’s OK to tell someone else that and vent. It’s OK to cry while you watch your cheesy Hallmark movie. It’s OK not to be OK. Take time for you in all of the chaos. Take even just a moment. Mine is coming at night when I read my devotional, A Meaningful Christmas, just for women during this time of year. Mind you, it’s only a few minutes each night, but it does help me refocus some energy to where it needs to be.
Next year, I might try to #takeChristmasback, but I think I’m in too deep this year. And come January, I plan to make some changes in my life. I need to learn to say “no” more. I need to re-prioritize my life. I’ve come to realize, especially lately, that some of the things I thought were important, really don’t need to be in the forefront of my life. And some other things, like family, need to be moved up. But, until then, if you are tired, over-booked, over-shopped, over-worked, over-EVERYTHING, then know you ARE NOT ALONE. We will make it through this season. We will (probably) only remember all the good parts. We will smile when we see our kids happy. And then we can hibernate in the New Year. Or not…but that’s another blog, another day!